From: PJack62933@aol.com
Subject: Baptism

A tutor of my old bible college turned up at a small church to take a service as a guest preacher, only to discover it was to be a baptismal service.
After much hunting around an old pair of baptismal waders were found in the back of a church cupboard.
All went well until said tutor came to step out of the baptistery. The left leg had a leak and the weight of the water in the wader only made itself known he tried to get out of the pool.
Apparently he gave the benediction standing on the top step of the baptistery with a series of fine jets of water squirting out of the perished rubberised seam. A joy to behold!

Subject: Baptism (2)

Another tutor at my college was suitably attired in pair of rubberised
waders with front bib, all held up by braces.

A large lady said to, "be like the cutty sark under full sail" swooned she
came down the steps of the baptistery and belly flopped across the surface.
This in turn propelled a miniature Tsunami across the pool and down the front
of the bib of the tutor's waders!!

Subject: Baptism (3)

Just after the second world war my father was stationed with the RAF in the New Forest.
He went to a little church meeting in a mission hut to find a portable tank had been brought in for a baptismal service.
What bemused him was that, in a time of the traditional rigid 4-hymn plus prayers sandwich there were 6 hymn numbers on the song board. All became clear during the first hymn as all the men filed out of their seats and formed a queue from the baptistery to the kitchen door.
Throughout the length of the hymn buckets of hot water were added to the cold baptistery water. This procedure was repeated for each hymn, ensuring warm water in time for the baptism.

anderson@yorku.ca
Subject: A confession?

The Scene: St Paul's Anglican Church, Bristol, the 1980s

Trendy pastor (concluding communion service): "well that's the end of another Eucharist then"
Congregation (in unison): "thanks be to God"

jtmiddleton@ntlworld.com
Our funniest experience (so far) in church was one Sunday when in the middle of communion, the vicar held the cup above his head to bless it as usual ... and spilled it all down his white robes. The red communion wine stood out particularly well. The funniest thing was that this was at a particularly prayerful time of the service, so most people didn't notice - only those who had got bored or finished praying did, and most of those were too spiritual to laugh. The rest of us however, had tears streaming down our cheeks ...